RENOVATING WHAT I CAN
I recently had a conversation with a friend about renovating my kitchen. The wooden floor was badly worn and as such things do, the idea of replacing the floor led to a series of other related projects to update my twenty-year old kitchen from its teal and white dated monotony to something more contemporary. He was opposed to the entire idea and questioned why I would want to involve myself in such a project. He asked me that if I knew I only had six months to live would I want to be spending my time at this point rehabbing my kitchen. It was a useful, if harsh, question. And one with which I actively engaged without resentment.
I find the time reference to be irrelevant in that I have no information that would place a time stamp upon just how much time I have left to live. I have lived well beyond one official pronouncement and I have no desire to engage another until my death is imminent. So that said, I return to the question of do I want to do this project? With considerable reflection I determined that the point is not whether or not I have a refreshed kitchen but that one of the most significant aspects of my aliveness is creating possibility wherever I see it. I love doing projects. Or more precisely, I love designing projects (to be done by others for the most part. Let's be real!) I especially love designing projects that will both enhance aesthetics and functionality. I am also aware that on some unconscious level I know that I can do very little about my disease-ravaged body, but I can still give my kitchen a much needed face-lift!
Identifying this led me to identify those aspects of my life that I found most rewarding and life-giving. What exactly did I do that made my life worth living at this point? What gave me meaning and joy? I arrived at four essential activities: the creation of projects like renovating my kitchen; writing, as in this blog and perhaps beyond; generative conversations that are laced with humor and transforming insight; and the ongoing maintenance of my health through medication and medical appointments.
I am very grateful to be able to continue these activities and I derive real joy from them. Not always, of course, there are times when I am frustrated and irritated by each but that too is an essential part of being alive even when I prefer it not to be. Without those times there would be no challenge and we wouldn't be be truly alive; which, after all, is the entire point!
I recently had a conversation with a friend about renovating my kitchen. The wooden floor was badly worn and as such things do, the idea of replacing the floor led to a series of other related projects to update my twenty-year old kitchen from its teal and white dated monotony to something more contemporary. He was opposed to the entire idea and questioned why I would want to involve myself in such a project. He asked me that if I knew I only had six months to live would I want to be spending my time at this point rehabbing my kitchen. It was a useful, if harsh, question. And one with which I actively engaged without resentment.
I find the time reference to be irrelevant in that I have no information that would place a time stamp upon just how much time I have left to live. I have lived well beyond one official pronouncement and I have no desire to engage another until my death is imminent. So that said, I return to the question of do I want to do this project? With considerable reflection I determined that the point is not whether or not I have a refreshed kitchen but that one of the most significant aspects of my aliveness is creating possibility wherever I see it. I love doing projects. Or more precisely, I love designing projects (to be done by others for the most part. Let's be real!) I especially love designing projects that will both enhance aesthetics and functionality. I am also aware that on some unconscious level I know that I can do very little about my disease-ravaged body, but I can still give my kitchen a much needed face-lift!
Identifying this led me to identify those aspects of my life that I found most rewarding and life-giving. What exactly did I do that made my life worth living at this point? What gave me meaning and joy? I arrived at four essential activities: the creation of projects like renovating my kitchen; writing, as in this blog and perhaps beyond; generative conversations that are laced with humor and transforming insight; and the ongoing maintenance of my health through medication and medical appointments.
I am very grateful to be able to continue these activities and I derive real joy from them. Not always, of course, there are times when I am frustrated and irritated by each but that too is an essential part of being alive even when I prefer it not to be. Without those times there would be no challenge and we wouldn't be be truly alive; which, after all, is the entire point!
1 comment:
About a year ago, my friend Teresa was making plans to renovate their master bathroom as her husband was nearing the end of a long illness. She observed some months later that planning the project was a real expression of optimism and belief in the future. A beautiful thing.
Post a Comment