THIS IN-BETWEEN PLACE
This morning it was 55 degrees in the Olympic city of Vancouver....and 50 degrees in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I recognize that given the horrendously cold temperatures with which the north has had to contend I can expect little sympathy for my lamentations about the cold. Nevertheless, I insist upon persisting to lament these unacceptable temperatures. Yes, fifty is not fifteen but Fort Lauderdale is not Des Moines. I choose to live in Florida in order to be able to sit writing this blog outside by the river. Fifty is in-between fifteen and eighty (my preferred temperature). I don't like the in-between. It is neither one nor the other.
Similarly, the status of my health is in-between truly sick and truly healthy. It is often what I would term truly crappy! I am okay. I certainly don't feel well; or good. But on the other hand, I don't really feel sick or bad. Instead, I often feel tired, lethargic, unmotivated, and, yes, whiny! Oh boy, can I feel whiny! And it is so uncool to feel, forget sound, whiny! I don't want to be around me when I am whiny so why would anyone else want to be around when I'm whiny. But to be perfectly honest it seems to me to be the background noise of the in-between place. I didn't design it to be this way; I'm just noticing that this is the way it seems to be.
Nor am I suggesting that there is nothing that I can do about it; that I am a helpless victim of this whining syndrome. I know there are things that I can do rather than yield to this unpleasant whining. All of them are contained in the decision to re-focus my attention to something else; something that is not in-between two other things. All I have to do is focus my ever wandering attention upon something that I want or something that pleases me. I know that I can do that. I can do it at any time.
But sometimes it just seems like I'd rather whine.
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