BACK BY THE RIVER AGAIN
I returned to Florida a few weeks ago for the holidays and here I shall remain, most of the time, through the next few winter months. By the time I left Boston to return to Florida I was cold all the time and I contracted another case of salmonella, albeit much milder than that of last August. I have recovered from the illness and the effects of the medicine and for the most part feel okay. While Cyclops is fairly gentle with me I do have a low grade fever almost every night. But most of what I feel is the intense discomfort of the neuropathy and a deep fatigue that interferes with doing very much at all, and so I sit by the river.
I am experiencing some type of profound internal change as I sit here. Perhaps it is a result of the fatigue; perhaps something else. I don't feel like making lunch or dinner plans and I can't do much else. I seem to be lacking a certain kind of energetic inclination to talk very much most of the time. When I do go out, as I did yesterday with three friends to Art Basel in Miami, I am often very quiet. And yet I am not bored. And I answered "No" quite honestly to a therapist friend when he asked if I thought I was depressed. Most of the time I feel content...just as long as I am physically comfortable, and all I need for that is cushioned furniture.
Sometimes I answer email, or read, or most recently I sorted through all the photographs of my family, friends, and various times and places of my life. Apart from the delight of seeing the faces of friends from the past sixty years, the photos that moved me the most were of the garden I created out of a driveway at my house in Brookline. It was probably late September and the garden was full of flowers while the ivy had just begun to change color. They were very sweet photos and reminded me how much I loved that city garden for more than thirty years. Ironically, I also turned part of the driveway at Treetops into a garden; another place that I cherished. Paradise Point was never a driveway but I guess I'm still at the gardening thing; even if I don't do the work myself.
The bridge demolition is now complete and I am very much okay with it. The secret garden is completely gone but in its place there is an amazing openness that gives me views of a huge and beautiful tree on the opposite bank of what I have decided to call Paradise Pass! And being able to see water surrounding the point of my property has created an entirely new and beautiful feeling to the garden. I will post photos after we do some finishing landscape.
Speaking of finishing, to my considerable relief Blue Cross has decided not to cancel my health insurance. So while in many ways this has been my own anno horribilis, it is finishing well. As I sit here writing and listening to the sound of a far off train whistle reverberate over the silent water there is a new and deeper peace on the river tonight.
Thank God!
I returned to Florida a few weeks ago for the holidays and here I shall remain, most of the time, through the next few winter months. By the time I left Boston to return to Florida I was cold all the time and I contracted another case of salmonella, albeit much milder than that of last August. I have recovered from the illness and the effects of the medicine and for the most part feel okay. While Cyclops is fairly gentle with me I do have a low grade fever almost every night. But most of what I feel is the intense discomfort of the neuropathy and a deep fatigue that interferes with doing very much at all, and so I sit by the river.
I am experiencing some type of profound internal change as I sit here. Perhaps it is a result of the fatigue; perhaps something else. I don't feel like making lunch or dinner plans and I can't do much else. I seem to be lacking a certain kind of energetic inclination to talk very much most of the time. When I do go out, as I did yesterday with three friends to Art Basel in Miami, I am often very quiet. And yet I am not bored. And I answered "No" quite honestly to a therapist friend when he asked if I thought I was depressed. Most of the time I feel content...just as long as I am physically comfortable, and all I need for that is cushioned furniture.
Sometimes I answer email, or read, or most recently I sorted through all the photographs of my family, friends, and various times and places of my life. Apart from the delight of seeing the faces of friends from the past sixty years, the photos that moved me the most were of the garden I created out of a driveway at my house in Brookline. It was probably late September and the garden was full of flowers while the ivy had just begun to change color. They were very sweet photos and reminded me how much I loved that city garden for more than thirty years. Ironically, I also turned part of the driveway at Treetops into a garden; another place that I cherished. Paradise Point was never a driveway but I guess I'm still at the gardening thing; even if I don't do the work myself.
The bridge demolition is now complete and I am very much okay with it. The secret garden is completely gone but in its place there is an amazing openness that gives me views of a huge and beautiful tree on the opposite bank of what I have decided to call Paradise Pass! And being able to see water surrounding the point of my property has created an entirely new and beautiful feeling to the garden. I will post photos after we do some finishing landscape.
Speaking of finishing, to my considerable relief Blue Cross has decided not to cancel my health insurance. So while in many ways this has been my own anno horribilis, it is finishing well. As I sit here writing and listening to the sound of a far off train whistle reverberate over the silent water there is a new and deeper peace on the river tonight.
Thank God!
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