Cancer: a love story

MAKING LEMONADE

It has been harder and harder to remain positive in the midst of the pain and discomfort I feel. I have felt this lowgrade sense of irritability much of the time. It's really annoying. Because I really don't want to be spending my time feeling like this. My spa nurse just asked me if there was anything that gave me relief and I told her that 5mg of Oxycodone did but I only took it when the pain woke me in the middle of the night. She encouraged me to take it whenever I wanted to. It was then that I realized how silly I have been being. The Oxycodone is left over from 2007 so it feels somehow illicit. I don't know what I am afraid of: becoming Rush Limbaugh!!! I'm going to take one of those little suckers as soon as I get home!

I omitted a very important piece of information in my last posting. The Velcade is working. As annoying as the side effects are, what is most important is that the chemotherapy is working and that the cancer cells are receding. So it seems I am heading toward remission. And that's a good thing; a very, very good thing.

And continuing this morning's report on good news I want to provide an update on the South Florida Water Commisssion's response to my garden requests. They did dig up and move two of the best coconut palm trees onto my property. So we saved two of the seven. In the meantime the entire project has been postponed for a few months. I am also engaged in negotiating with them to fasttrack the permitting process to allow me to expand the little sunset bench to a 12X20 deck over the river. So far they seem to be accomodating. I am now focused not so much on what is being destroyed but more on what may be possible. I found a really great landscape designer and I am looking forward to creating a whole new landscape creation that accents the penninsula and the surrounding water.
Change is inevitable, whether I like it or not, so I might as well choose it. And while I'm at it, make it beautiful!